“How are you?” “I’m fine. Thank you. And you?” And then the conversation awkwardly continues with meaningless chatter that results in loss opportunities and no connection. Try something different.
To connect, be specific and authentic.
After a brisk introduction, asking politely a specific question like “how do you feel about (situation you are both in)”, listening intently and paraphrasing their words with a nod can show them your interest in them and your respect for their opinion. Ask. Listen. Paraphrase. Nod.
Do not be afraid of silences, especially those after you have tactfully repeated their last few words. Give them time to expand on what they mean before following up with more “how do you feel about” or other specific questions. Remember to be authentic and honest. Share when something they say excites you. Opening up is an effective way to create trust. When a topic runs dry, pivot with another specific question like “what are you looking forward to this week?”
Aim for something meaningful.
There is always something to like about someone. And there is always someway you are like that person. Aim to discover for yourself and to show them what you like about them and how you are like them.
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